Friday, November 07, 2008

Why I vote Democrat...

(just another something to get Landon going:)

I'm voting Democrat because English has no place
being the official language in America.

I'm voting Democrat because I'd rather pay $4
for a gallon of gas than allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America.

I'm voting Democrat because I think the government
will do a better job of spending my money than I could.

I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of
Afghanistan and Iraq, I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying
to kill us because they'll think we're a good and decent
country.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe people who can't tell us if it will rain in two or three days, can now tell us the polar ice caps will disappear in ten years if I don't start
riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my tires to proper levels.

I'm voting Democrat because it's alright to
kill millions of babies as long as we keep violent, convicted murderers on
death row alive.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be allowed to make profits. Businesses should just
break even and give the rest to the government so politicians and
bureaucrats can redistribute the money the way they think it
should be redistributed.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe guns, and
not the people misusing them, are the cause of crimes and killings.

I'm voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or me, I know the government can respond faster
through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand.

I'm voting Democrat because oil companies' 5%
profit on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the
same gallon of gas are just fine.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or
four elitist liberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to
suit some fringe element that could never get their agenda past voters.

I'm voting Democrat because now I can now marry
whatever I want, so I've decided to marry my horse.

9 comments:

Brits said...

Haha that's awesome!

Chapman Family said...

That was so freaking FUNNY!!!!

K. Bitton said...

Nice!! =)

landon said...

I tried to resist the bait, but you know me. . . the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. :) So, I'll just link to this fun video and dream about a corporate utopia where gun-toting English-only speakers fight in perpetual wars against countries that never threatened or attacked us, where science is bunk and the environment is under attack in the name of more and cheaper "stuff", and where the thought of two people who want to express their love for each other by entering into a long-term commitment is somehow equivalent to marrying a horse. :)

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry Lans :)

landon said...

no worries, loren. i really do love this kind of stuff. :)

Utah Valley Sports Network said...

This is so great Carrie, sums up how we feel at our house.

Sweet Pea said...

I'm not Landon, and I believe my arguments are much more credible :). I love the comments, please keep them coming, we must have opposition in all things!

Steve O'Connor & Shay Yost said...

Great video clip Landon!! So true!